I am not a perfume collector. I have masses of perfume: unregimented ranks of boxed bottles filling a deep niche in my bedroom wall, vials spilling out of a large bowl, travel sprays kicking about the bottom of most bags, and a drawer of things I’m considering selling. But I am not a collector*. I’m far too haphazard, and I’m far more interested in eating my cake than having it. Everything is unsealed, opened, and worn. Maybe not worn as often as it would be if I had fewer scents but I don’t own any perfume for the sake of owning it. Nothing is kept for best, for one day, for maybe.

I have thousands of books, but I don’t collect books either. I read, and I re-read, and I refer back–sometimes decades later–so I keep them. My flat is half-lined with shelves which are (mostly) in order. And, of course, there are vertiginous towers of recent reading, clusters of books I’m using for current projects, and always random volumes in random places. My books are my external brain: a map of stories and interests, research, and diversions. I don’t know how many millions of words surround me. You can see the fascinations and obsessions, the favourite authors and the one-book wonders, changing tastes and shifting focus. I cherish them, but, with a couple of exceptions, they are not precious objects. They are carriers of ideas and experience. Portals.

Dig through my perfume and you’ll see the same. You could trace patterns of discovery and education, flirtations, crushes and deep loves, and the years of curiosity, conformity, and contrariness. Do I buy too much? Certainly. No one *needs* this much smelly water. But I wear perfume as I read: every day. This should last me a lifetime. But I still have a stash of not-yet-read books, and a box full of samples I’ve not yet tried, and I’m sure my acquisitive magpie tendencies will continue to lead me into temptation. I just hope I don’t have to move house again in a hurry.

‘m curious: do you consider yourself a collector? How do you choose what to add to an already generously stocked wardrobe? And what on earth do you call your accumulation if it’s not a “collection”?

(Robo-stegosaurus and Poison both c.1992)

* Collecting suggests a quest for completeness, rarities, or some other deliberate intent.

originally posted 30 August 2019, footnote added December 2025